Peach vs. Amy

Princess Peach

Amy Rose

Princess Peach: Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom! She’s here to fight the good fight, namely fighting for her servant’s castle! Does she have what it takes?

Amy Rose: Sonic’s self-proclaimed girlfriend. She’s pretty fierce, especially with her Piko Piko Hammer! Will she make up for Eggman’s loss?

*Camera pans to TC, were the fighters are having a discussion with Toad and Toadette*

Bowser: These relentless attacks are wearing us out, even if they are great publicity, we can’t take much more!

Mario: Pipe down! (lol, Mario joke) You have a shell, you can take it.

Bowser: Easy for you to say, you haven’t had to fight yet…

Yoshi: Shut it before I eat both of you and poop you back out-the slow way!

Bowser: *is a statue*

Mario: MAMA-MIA! NOT AGAIN!!! *runs around in circles screaming “alrueiadaieowaj!!!”*

Toadette: I agree, these are strong fighters! We must devise a plan! But we have to make sure that the Sonic crew doesn’t hear about-

*Amy bursts through door*

Amy: SOOOOONIC!!! Are you in here?!

Yoshi: Amber alert! AMBER ALERT! *chucks egg at Amy’s face*

Amy: Ahhhh! My eyes! I can’t see! *opens eyes and looks at Mario* Sonic!!! There you are! *hugs*

Peach: You [[censured]]!!! Get your dirty animal hands off my plump Italian meat-ball!

Amy: Italian?! EWW!!! Take him! I don’t want him!

Peach: What have you got against Italian?!

*they both jump into the air and into matrix poses*

Toad: Hey, hey, hey! Save this for the deathmatches! The audience digs catfights! *raises eyebrows* Errrr…

Toadette: *bonks Toad* Hmph!

Three days later…

Toadette: Welcome, one and all, to another exciting installment of Toad’s Castle Deathmatches!

Audience: *cheering loudly*

Toadette: Before we start, we have some bad news…Toad got bonked in the head by an unknown attack…anyway, we have a special guest host today! Give it up for: KIP THE KOOPA!!!

Mario: *in audience* Oh, bloody h-

Bowser: *ear-to-ear smile* Best character part of my life…*happy sigh*

Kip: *walks out waving hand* Thank you, thank you! You’ve been a wonderful audience over the summer, and I behalf of the Kip’s Show cast, I’d like to thank all of you for being so supportive! FREE SAMPLES!!! Twisted Evil *takes out bazooka and starts to launch Kip’s Show merchandise, mostly bobble heads, and other pointy thing…*

Audience: OW!



Toadette: Uh, you can sit down now.

Kip: *with hand behind head* Oh, sorry. Got a little carried away back there…

Toadette: Anyway, here’s our referee, Ref Guy!

Ref Guy: *walks out waving hand* Thank you, thank you! You’ve been a wonderful audience over the summer, and I be-*listening to audiences complete silence* Dang monkey people…*is hit in face with a bloody bobble head*

Kip: Now, time for our main event, the Deathmatch! Combatants, please step into the arena!

*both fighters walk slowly for what seems like an eternity with locked eyes and dramatic DBZ music in the background*

Toad: *watching from hospital TV* Danggit, this is taking freaking forever!

*when they get in arena*

Peach: You’ll PAY for what you’ve done!

Amy: What have I done?

Peach: Uh, I, ummm…*whispers in Amy’s ears*

Amy: *eyes widen* You take that back! I’d never do that!

Peach: It’s GO time!

*Peach pulls a vegetable and throws it at Amy, but she dodges*

Toadette: Wait, when did we get plants planted in the arena? Plants coming from nowhere, weird eh?

Kip: Eh, I’ve seen weirder; speaking of which, are you wearing a hat, or is that your head?!

Toadette: Well, I never!…

Ref Guy: God, why haven’t I been promoted…Peach starts off the fight with a vegetable toss attack, but Amy has dodged it! It seems like Amy is going to jump onto Peach!

*Amy jumps into the air, spins at high speed, and when she starts to come down, she raises her Piko Piko hammer up, but Peach pulls out a tennis racket, and the two weapons clash with thunder and sparks coming from the collision; they both fly backward, Amy with semi-burnt clothes and Peach with a cracked crown*

Toadette: Amazing! I’ve never seen that kind of Passion and aggression in an attack before! They really mean business!

*They both dash at each other, weapons in hand, and when they clash the screen flashes and goes into a DBZ style extremely fast fight*

Kip: It seems that both are choosing speed over power this time round! Boy, this brings back memories of the time when Kirby fought that crazy bunny…

Toadette: You’ve gotta stop getting sidetracked…

Kip: Oh, sorry. It seems that Peach and Amy are both at a staredown!

*Both combatants are still, staring with flames in there eyes; Amy spindashes at full speed towards Peach, and everything starts to happen in slow motion*

Peach: *thinking to self* Oh no, what will I do…I’ve got it! I’ll deflect the attack with Toad! *reaches into pocket*

Toad: *in hospital* Wait, what the h-*disappears*

*Peach pulls hand out of pocket and is holding up a full-body casted Toad; Toad takes the full attack*

Toad: AHHHHHH! MY SCABULA!!! *passes out*

Peach: *puts Toad back in pocket*

Amy: Coward! You made a little guy take a full attack for you!

Peach: Coward? It’s better than living a lie!

Amy: W-what?

Peach: You heard me! SONIC. DOESN’T. LIKE. YOU. You know it, but you won’t admit it!

Amy: *tears in eyes* I’ll KILL YOU!!!

*camera shifts to Toadette and Kip; punch and fight sounds are heard in background*

Toadette: Ow…Eeck!

Kip: *wincing* Oof, ooh…ouch.

Toadette: Holy Stromboli! That move is illegal in the Mushroom Kingdom, all 50 states, Quebec, Ontario, and Northern Antarctica!

Kip: *stares at Ref Guy* Do something!

Ref Guy: *doing nails* Not my shift…

Kip: *sigh**looks back up; Peach is on floor and Amy is on fire with fangs and angry face* Well, this match is ov-

Peach: *gets back up* *pant pant* Look at yourself! You know that it’s true! Sonic doesn’t like you!

Amy: *looks in audience and sees Sonic planning takeover with friends not paying the slightest attention to the match* B-but I…I…*falls to knees staring blankly at ground*

Peach: Ha! I guess that I’ll be the winner of this match!

Sonic: *in audience* So, throwing Amy into the plan was just a distraction for our master to initiate his plan, right?

Knuckle: Yeah, but she’s not looking so good out there…

Sonic: Woah, you’re right! Maybe I should go cheer her on!

Tails: But you just said that she’s of no strategic importance!

Sonic: You never know, she might win! *jumps down the aisles into the front row* You can do it Amy!

Amy: Shut up! I never want to see you again!

Sonic: Amy, we’ve been over this before…

Amy: Over what? The lies?!*cries* You never loved me!!!

Sonic: Uhhh…yes, I do?

Amy: *jumps up with a flowery background* SONIC LOVES ME!!!

Peach: So gullible…so very, very gullible…

Amy: *punches Peach and gives her a bloody lip* La-la-la-la-la…

Peach: You’ll pay for that you little-*is punched again*

Amy: *goes into killing spree/overkill/ownage mode throwing punches every which way* La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la!!!

Peach: *starts to wobble, then falls*

Toadette: *Mouth on floor*

Kip: So gullible…so very, very gullible…

Ref Guy: Amy is the winner!

Audience: *cheers, but not as loud as normal*

Amy: Sonic! I won for you!!! *opens eyes* Uh, Sonic?

*Sonic is gone*

Peach has been defeated, Mewtwo’s minions weaken…(lol, where do I get this crap?)


Yoshi: Danggit, where are Smashmatt and Eric! If the rest of the takeover goes like Peach’s match, we’ll NEED there help!

Mario: We must fight harder! We’ll all contribute to the group! You guys fight, and I’ll look after Peach and Toad, but mostly Peach!

Bowser: No friggin’ way, you coward! *Bowser pulls back fist*

*scene changes to Mario laying next to Toad in the hospital, who is next in-between Mario and Peach*

Mario: uhg…Toad, can we change beds? *is hit with bobble head*

Kip: *voice from far away* That’s for being the least popular character on my show!