Mario vs. Goomba

Mario: Mario has always been the hero and has beaten many Goombas in his time. Hopefully, this time will be no different. Goomba: This common goomba has volunteered to fight in this sample deathmatch. He’s been training to fight Mario. He might just have a chance…

Toad: “Welcome to Toad’s Castle’s Character Battles! I’m your host, Toad!”

Crowd: *cheers*

Toadette: “And I’m your hostess, Toadette!”

Crowd: *cheers*

Toad: “This is the beginning of what will hopefully be some of the greatest fights in history!”

Toadette: “That’s right! This very arena will hold what will hopefully be many great fights between some of the greatest Nintendo characters in history!”

Crowd: *cheers*

Luigi: *in crowd* “If only I had fought against Donkey Kong instead of watching a movie at that time. If only…”

Toad: “Now let’s get the fighting started! Let’s introduce our first fighter! All the way from the Mushroom Kingdom comes one of the greatest Superstars in video game history! He’s your friend and mine (but not Bowser’s). The one, the only, MARIO!!!”

*Mario jumps onto arena stage, Mario music playing*

Good Guy Crowd: *cheers*

Bad Guy Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOO!”

Boo: “Yeah?”

Bowser: “Not you!”

Boo: “Oh, sorry…”

Toadette: “Now for our next fighter. Also from the Mushroom Kingdom comes a familiar enemy of Mario. He’s been waiting for this moment for a long time! Here comes GOOMBA!!!”

*a Goomba with a blue headband walks onto arena stage*

Crowd: *cheers, but not as loudly as before*

Goomba: “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this, Mario!”

Mario: “I’m-a sure you’ve-a been training-a for a long-a time.”


Mario: “Oh! I’m-a so sorry…”

Goomba: “SAVE IT! Now, after all these years, I’m finally going to get my revenge!”

Toad: “It seems there’s already a bit of conflict on the stage right now, so let’s get this fight started!”

Crowd: *cheers and roars*

Toadette: “Here comes our referee, Ref Guy!”

*a Shy Guy wearing black and white striped clothes walks onto stage*

*Mario and Goomba walk to center of stage*

Ref Guy: “Now, I want a good clean fight… Oh, what the heck, go all out! But remeber, what I say goes! Got it?”

*Mario nods*

Goomba: “Yeah, whatever, can we fight already?!?”

Ref Guy: “Alright, then… FIGHT!”

*Goomba runs at Mario and knocks him down*

Toad: “And the fight starts out with a bang, as Goomba charges out at Mario and knocks him to the ground!”


*Mario quickly gets up and jumps on Goomba*

*Goomba doesn’t even flinch*

Toadette: “Mario counters with his standard Jump attack, but for some reason, it doesn’t seem to affect Goomba at all.”

Goomba: “HA! I’ve been training for 20 years! Do you really think a simple jump is going to affect me?!?”

Mario: “Well-a then. How about-a this?!?”

*shoots fireballs out at Goomba*

*Goomba doges and heads for Mario*

Toad: “Now Mario tries his trusty Fireballs, but Goomba seems too fast for him. Goomba is now heading for Mari- WHAT THE?!?”

*one random fireball hits Goomba; Goomba is on fire, but he is still heading for Mario*

Toadette: “Goomba’s caught on fire! And yet he is still going for Mario! This must be one tough Goomba!”

Toad: “You say it, Toadette. He must be very determined to beat Mario!”

*flaming Goomba dives head first at Mario*

Goomba: “HEADBONK!”

*Mario gets hit on head*


Toad: “Goomba gives Mario his trademark Headbonk, but Mario is countering with his Firebrand move he learned in the Beanbean Kingdom…”

Toadette: “Hey, it was my turn to speak!”

Toad: “What do you mean ‘your turn’?”

Toadette: “You already said something before Goomba made his move. We’re suppose to switch back and forth between announcing!”

Toad: “I don’t ever remember agreeing to that…”

Toadette: “OHHHH! You are just so selfish!”

*while they argue, fight continues*

*Goomba is smoking, Mario is slightly burned near head*

Goomba: “Time to take it up a notch! GOOMBITE!”

*Goomba launches his teeth onto Mario’s arm*

Mario: “OWWWW!”

*Mario swings his arm around; Goomba eventually falls off*

Mario: “Grrr! That-a hurt! Hey, Ref Guy, isn’t biting against the rules?”

Ref Guy: “It was going to be, but then we realized that some cretures only attack by biting. Continue.”

Goomba: “My pleasure! GOOMBACKFLIP!”

*backflips onto Mario*

*Mario manages to get out of the way; takes out hammer and whacks Goomba*

Goomba: *in a small daze* “Oww… Hey, that’s not fair! REF!”

Ref Guy: “Actually, it is fair. Weapons are allowed in these Deathmatches. Continue!”

Goomba: “GRR! I wish I would have known that! Otherwise, I would have…”

*before he could finish, Mario gives him a sideways whack, souring out of the arena stage*

Goomba: *hits ground* “Alright, now your going to get it!”

Ref Guy: “Actually, you have landed out of the arena stage, so Mario wins!”

Goomba: “WHAT?!?!?!?”

Good Guy crowd: “YEEEAAAAHHH!”


Boo: “Yeah?”

Bad Guy Crowd: “NOT YOU!”

Boo: “Okay, okay, sheesh!”

Toad: “I told you, Princess Peach needed to water the plants that Friday!”

Toadette: “Peach, Peach, Peach, that’s all you ever talk about! Why don’t you just marry Peach?!?”

Toad: “Stop saying that! You know I… Oh, wait, did Ref Guy just announce the winner?”

Ref Guy: “Yeah, Goomba lost by a ringout.”

Toad: “Oh, okay then, Mario is the winner of the sample Deathmatch!”

Good Guy Crowd: “YEEEAAAHHH!”

Bad Guy Crowd: “BOOOOOOOO!”

Boo: “Yeah?”

Bowser: “THAT’S IT!!!”

*launches onto Boo and starts fighting*

Toad: “Hey you two up there! Save it for the arena!”

Toadette: “Say, that would be a good deathmatch! We’ll take that into consideration.”

Goomba: “You’ll pay for this Mario! I’ll get my revenge!”

Mario: “I-a hear that-a so often, it’s-a lost it’s-a meaning.”

Goomba: “You’ll pay for what you did to my father, Mario, YOU WILL PAY!” *walks for door* “…IN CASH!!!” *Walks out door*

Toad: “Well, that’s it for today, tune in next time for another deathmatch!”

Toadette: “Yep! Until then, see you later! …You still owe me a dinner out!”

Toad: “Oh, not this again!”