The End (its about football)

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The End (its about football)

Postby eastdail » Tue Jan 13, 2009 2:41 am

this is a story im writing. i hope you like it. (i know its pretty horrible, but its one of my first stories)


Larry Trechaway always wanted to win a football game. So far, his team was 0-10. Larry was the worst player in the league, though. His teammates were ok, but when Larry was playing offensive line, the other team had at least twelve sacks in a quarter. The coach always made Larry work out the hardest, but he was still 54 pounds of skin and bones. One day the best guy on the team, Rob Olno, talked to Larry. "You'd better not lose us this game, Larry." He said. But Larry did his worst ever that day. First, he got sent back 10 yards by a defensive lineman, and his team lost 10 yards. Then he broke his arm trying to keep a defensive lineman from getting through the line. He was out until the last two games because of that. Larry still couldn't play when he came back back, so the coach put him on defense. He didn't know what to do and it was his best game ever. He stopped a pass from being caught by the other team. His coach noticed it. He made sure Larry stayed on defense from now on. (part two comes if at least two people like it)
WRECKKKKKK YOUUUUUUUUU
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Re: The End (its about football)

Postby supertoad » Thu Jan 15, 2009 6:04 pm

This is a good outline for a story, but it needs more detail. Before moving on to a second part you should go back and flesh out the characters and events to give them more depth. If you enjoy writing, you shouldn't make the next part contingent on getting feedback. Continual practice is the only way to develop the skill.
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Re: The End (its about football)

Postby eastdail » Thu Jan 15, 2009 9:19 pm

ok. thanks supertoad. ill write it on word or something and then post it here when it is perfect
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